How can I become more aware of my needs and desires (Vulnerability Writing Therapy)
This is the 6th article of my vulnerability writing therapy. I’ve just came through all of them. I realize that everything can move and change so fast…
I’ve just remembered a quote saying that you’re just one decision away of a completely different life.
And I feel that I’m not so far of this decision…
What happened ?
This couple of weeks I had to go through couple of clinical exam (MRI, scanner, nuclear medicine…) to see the health of my coronary arteries. I had, since my youngest age, familial hypercholesterolemia. Which lead to a very (very) high cholesterol. You pair this with hypertension and mental health issues, as written in my first article, and you have an explosive mix.
I’m still waiting for my last clinical exam to decide if I’ll need surgery or not.
I’ve just came through some mental difficult weeks, mainly to accept this health condition. I knew this will going to happen. But you only realize it until it’s at your doorstep.
I feel good, I’m in shape, I ate (very) well, I do exercise on a regular basis, I don’t smoke, drank very little… I’m still happy and grateful with my health and body as it’s the most important thing for me.
But knowing that you can’t change the destiny even with all your effort, is hard to accept. But I’ll not stop as it’s still important for me to maintain my body in a good condition.
I thought I knew it but, what I’ve learnt is that some things aren’t in your control… and you need to accept it to move forward.
It’s funny because just before all this, I’ve talked with my coach on how can I increase my optimism and my confidence to accept and face challenges… That’s a pretty good one to work on it…
Everything that happens in your life happens for a reason. And I’ll be optimistic about my health.
Why I chose this title ?
Knowing all this, my health condition brings me back to what I really want in my life. And to ask me those questions :
- What direction I want to give to my life ?
- Which person I want to become in the future ?
- What decisions I need to take based on what I know now ?
- How can I be more aware of my needs and desires on a daily basis ?
Being more aware on a daily basis of my thoughts, emotions, needs and desires will help me to guide my future decision and actions. That’s certain.
In the last couple of months, As written in my first article, I let my fears, emotions, distractions, and so on… taking the leads. I’ve taken less responsibilities, being more confused, feeling uncertainty in lots of my life areas.
But the decision or undecision I’ve taken lead me to a place of despair.
How brave I’ll be to understand and manage my emotions effectively ?
How brave I’ll be to be assertive on what I want ?
How brave I’ll be to bring my value to others ?
How brave I’ll be to become a grounded and balanced person ?
What’s next ?
Not knowing exactly where I want to go in my life and staying in a kind of comfort zone, will definitely not help.
Not sharing what is happening in my life right now is definitely not a good strategy. As I’ve already talked about that in my previous article.
There are no shortcuts.
So it will start to regain the lead of my life, to be more empower, to be bold and to dare, to trust life. This quote summarize well what it takes :
“It takes the bitter and the sweet to make a life full and complete”
It’s start with baby steps. And for me, to be more vulnerable :
- Talking to my friends, family and relations about my health issues
- Being aware of my emotions and needs. And expressing them.
Take care,
To be continued…